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I loved that Mike. Loved it.

Those were some good jokes some i have heard before but it is always nice to be reminded of good jokes.

how many fleas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2 if they can get in

hmm lets see more lightbulb jokes:

how many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? :

none we'll have the drummer do it!


How many guitarist's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? :

3 one to do it and the other 2 to say ya i could do that.


how does a rockstar screw in a lightbuld?

he just holds it up b/c the world revolves around him.

hmm well lets see oh i love these two jokes everyone should know these

why did the woman cross the road?

who the hell cares why was she out of the kitchen?


what do you do when you dishwasher stops working?

slap her and tell her to get back to work =P


oh well just for S&G

how many frenchmen does it take to hold paris?

i don't know its never been done.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.

#2 Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government.

#3 We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

#4 The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.

#5 And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent! 's room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the
nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now.

"The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class, while
the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future
is in deep shit."

A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a
stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection."

"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me".

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop,
look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir".

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within
twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a
complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license
and..."

"You've sure got a lot of time on your hands. What's the matter,
all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license
and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down,
and coming to a complete stop."

"Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged
the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat
him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete
stop?"

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"