Idiots Should Wear a Sign-- Funny

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MCmasters_girl
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Idiots Should Wear a Sign-- Funny

Post by MCmasters_girl »

Why We Need Signs Saying "I'm an idiot" as a law!

Idiot #1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down,
and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave
her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.

--------------------------------------------------
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on
the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised
them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys.
---------------------------------------------
Idiot # 3
A true story out of San Francisco: A man,
wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
wrote "This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
standing
in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
that
someone had seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the teller
window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. The teller read the note and, surmising from his
spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
of America deposit slip. He would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign.
-----------------------------------------------
Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail: a ticket for $40 and a photo of his
car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his
$40.
Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
about)!
---------------------------------------------
Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag,
the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well. The
cashier
refused and said, "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said
he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't
believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of
his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the
scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The
cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
later.
Remind me to have more signs printed up. (Give this guy his!)
---------------------------------------------
Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
(This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.)
--------------------------------------------------
Idiot # 7
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor
store window was made of Plexiglass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
(Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.)
----------------------------------------------
Idiot # 8
Ann Arbor, Michigan.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 AM, flashed a gun and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said
he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Are we out of signs already?

"Several recent studies have shown that one in every four Americans
suffers
from some form of mental disorder. Think about that, if three of your
friends seem normal, then you must be the one."
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BigGunna
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Re: Idiots Should Wear a Sign-- Funny

Post by BigGunna »

MCmasters_girl wrote:"Several recent studies have shown that one in every four Americans
suffers
from some form of mental disorder. Think about that, if three of your
friends seem normal, then you must be the one."
I always knew I was the normal one. 8)
Jolt_Commander
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Post by Jolt_Commander »

Lol, I love the Idiot # 4, I would probably do about the same thing only tape the money to a back of the picture the first time. It does seem that a good chunk of americans are idiots, I mean look at the government, lol.
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